Re: Letter to vistors after birth
DH and I are the same way, the birth is just for us. This is our 3rd and both mom and MIL still assume they will get to be at the birth. My mom is better this time and asked if we were going to allow it this time and i just told her no, it helps that she will be at home with our other 2 and will be one of the first visitors just because she will be bringing in my other sons.
However this is your birth and needs to go how you want it. All you can do is let everyone know ahead of time that you will call when you are ready for visitors and that you would like some bonding/ recovery time right after baby is born. Remind them that doors will be locked, window closed, blinds down and they will not be welcome if they try to come before called. Its not selfish, its not rude, they can say whatever they want to make you feel guilty. But remember mama you dont get this day back, so do it for you, for your family, for your baby!