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Old 05-02-2012, 02:32 PM   #12
raisingcropsandbabies
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Join Date: Feb 2012
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Re: anyone else with a failed VBAC?

It's a greiving process for sure. It's good to let yourself feel how you feel and talk about it. ((hugs)). I understand being happy for others, yet sad for yourself. I remember getting very frustrated because I was careful during my 1st pregnancy, never even took tylenol, did all the right things, had a completely natural homebirth, and my son got stuck and injured because of his shoulder dystocia. He almost died and I did everything "right" and I couldn't birth him right. Then a year later, I watched my sister get induced, get an epi, and have a textbook birth with only 3 pushes and no tearing to my 9lbs+ nephew. I was happy it went well, but jealous because she increased her risks of things going wrong and they didn't; yet I kept my risks at a minimum and they did go wrong!

Same thing with nursing. My defective breasts can't make more than 2 Tbsp. of milk per feeding (even with pumping, nursing, meds/herbs, tinctures, placenta encapsulation) and I tried sooo hard. And some moms have enough milk for twins and choose not to nurse. I was like, "Why can't I even have the decision?"

I have come to the conclusion that though MOST women are made to give birth, things in nature aren't always *perfect*. Just like tornadoes, earthquakes, tsnumais happen... so do shoulder dystocias, death, and trauma to baby/mamas. In nature there is death, and I am thankful I can have healthy babies via c-section now; but I still get bummed too that nature wasn't as kind to me as it's been to other woman. Though I love being a mom, birthing my babies and nursing has not come easily to me. But things in life can't always come easily to us. Sometimes things require more of us than we want them to. And it's humbling and painful too, but how it stretches us!

((hugs)).
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