I can totally realate. Both of my friends just has easy, fast home births. One in Feb and one in march. I'm truely happy for them but extremely jealous!
When I found out I needed a csection with DS(low fluid, no induction due to previous csection) I cried and cried. I don't think I stooped crying all day. I couldn't even call DH to tell him. My mom had too I was too upset. I thought that was it. I'd always have csections. Then in July when DS was a few months old AGOG changed their view and recommends a tolac for vba2c! I was so hopeful and it gave me baby fever like crazy. We didn't plan this baby. It was a huge surprise. So when I found out I was pregnancy I had done no research on Drs or midwifes. I luckily found a great midwife the first try. She's amazing. This pregnancy has been so different for me. I always leave my appointments feeling motivated and good about myself and the pregnancy. And in a few weeks(6 or so!) I will be having my own amazing home birth.
I believe you CAN do it! With the right support and mindset its an option! Everyday I think about failing and I tell myself its not going to happen. I don't let that fear bring down my spirits.
Jaelyn(6-16-07) & Dominic (2-4-10)