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Old 05-03-2012, 04:51 AM   #17
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,275
Re: anyone else with a failed VBAC?

Originally Posted by jaelynsmommy61607 View Post
I can totally realate. Both of my friends just has easy, fast home births. One in Feb and one in march. I'm truely happy for them but extremely jealous!

When I found out I needed a csection with DS(low fluid, no induction due to previous csection) I cried and cried. I don't think I stooped crying all day. I couldn't even call DH to tell him. My mom had too I was too upset. I thought that was it. I'd always have csections. Then in July when DS was a few months old AGOG changed their view and recommends a tolac for vba2c! I was so hopeful and it gave me baby fever like crazy. We didn't plan this baby. It was a huge surprise. So when I found out I was pregnancy I had done no research on Drs or midwifes. I luckily found a great midwife the first try. She's amazing. This pregnancy has been so different for me. I always leave my appointments feeling motivated and good about myself and the pregnancy. And in a few weeks(6 or so!) I will be having my own amazing home birth.

I believe you CAN do it! With the right support and mindset its an option! Everyday I think about failing and I tell myself its not going to happen. I don't let that fear bring down my spirits.
The OP's baby would have most likely been a shoulder dystocia... she had a lot of signs like I did (my first was a severe shoulder dystocia resulting in his severe birth injury and almost death and I labored for a few days with my 3rd son like the OP did and he would have been one without the c/s). Her baby was too big for her pelvic outlet and so it didn't matter the support and mindset she had. Physically it was not gonna happen. I hate to sound short, but I get tired of people saying it's all about attitude... sometimes physically it's just not possible. I said, "I can do this, I can do this" most of my 30 hour back labor and had the best attitude, but he still got stuck, still got injured... my body just couldn't do it. Hers just couldn't do it. Attitude/support or not. Sometimes that doesn't make a difference.

To the OP, your body made two beautiful babies. It's not a failure. I know how I struggled with feelings of inadequacy when I couldn't birth my babies right and couldn't nurse them fully. I felt so un-womanly. In time, the pain gets less sharp. It might always sting a bit, but as your kids get older, the sharp ache eases some.
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