I've shot myself in the foot (figuratively)...
So, we're finishing up our 2nd year of homeschooling. For DS K year, I was pregnant, he had a horrible attitude, we really didn't get much done. We were part of a Classical Conversations group and he loves that. This year has been 1st grade year, although he's been doing 2nd grade math, spelling, reading. We also did CC again and that's it.
With a very demanding high needs baby who rarely naps, I have felt overwhelmed. The laundry piles up, the toilet/bathrooms, well, everything is filthy. We're lucky to get math and spelling done while MDS is at preschool. Once he gets home, it's so hard to get refocused and do anything else.
DH and I have been talking and we're leaning towards putting both kids in PS next year. ODS will be 2nd grade, MDS will be K (it's only 1/2 day). We never said we would HS a certain number of years. We just wanted to try it. It hasn't gone the way I had hoped and it's exponentially harder than I ever imagined. I love having my kids home and being with them, but I just feel like I'm not doing enough and I thought HS would be better for them, but a part of me is thinking maybe it isn't. With everything on my plate, I have a hard enough time just getting math and spelling done with one kid. I don't know how I would get anything done with 2 kids.
Well, my problem is that ODS doesn't want to go because I have painted a negative picture of school. During his bad attitude episodes, I would remind him how much I enjoy being with him and how much I want HS to work. I talked about how with PS you are in school 6+ hours, and you don't have as much freedom to jump around to do work, etc. He knows they would have more school work to do AND homework. I apologized to him today as we talked about it (he was in TEARS!!) and told him what I did was wrong. I tried to talk more positively about it and how good it would be for him.
I see him in other class settings like church, CC, scouts, and he's very engaged and participatory. He isn't engaged like that with me. At home there are so many distractions of toys, brothers, TV. We have a small house and not really a good space to separate where school is done.
Anyway, this is getting long but I just wonder if anyone has experienced this and what can I do to help him think more positively about PS? I'm still willing to HS, but I really just feel overwhelmed and feel I'm not doing as good as I should be. Not that I am failing him, but I just can't devote the time to it that I know I should. And for my own sanity/stress level, I feel like I just need to send them to school.
Caroline-happily married to Keith since 4/27/02; momma to D (5/10/05), M (2/10/07) and S (3/25/11)