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Old 05-04-2012, 09:40 PM   #20
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Hungry Caterpillar
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Southern California
Posts: 5,280
Re: anyone else with a failed VBAC?

Originally Posted by aries416 View Post
I know that this sentiment is not comforting for some people, but it did help me a lot. I have to believe that there is some reason why my kids, especially my 2nd, were c-section babies. I have no idea what the reason was, but there had to be a reason. They were born healthy and had no adverse affects and I am eternally grateful for that.

Originally Posted by crunch!910 View Post
A mother's FIRST job in her child's life is to be able to birth her baby and bring it safely into this world, and I Can't do that. I'm a failure
My body can't do it. Now the only direction my finger of blame can point is right back at me. The only person I can hate is me. I'm just not meant to bring children into this world.
I did not have a failed VBAC and never will, because I cannot have children any other way than by c-section. I did not know this until my due date, when my baby hadn't dropped and my doctor told me his suspicion was that my pelvic arch was far too narrow. My mom's was the exact same way and found out when her water broke with me, and I got so stuck I was a true emergency c-section.

So, I went into this with my mom's wisdom. She had 29 years to get over it to help me not freak out. She had both my brother and I by C/S. She reminded me of the people he and I are, and what we have contributed to the world. How she can honestly say the world is a better place because of some particular small and large things we have done. You never know what your children are destined for. One of them may do something truly great.

Maybe you couldn't get them out on your own, but you grew them. You gave them their genes, nourished them in utero, and obviously have that mama bear fighting instinct that will make sure they turn into good little citizens. Your mind and your heart will teach them to read, and the difference between right and wrong, and how to love with all their hearts. No matter how they got here.

So what if you couldn't birth them totally on your own and needed surgical help to do that last little bit. That C/S was 45 mins after 40 weeks of growing that person. A microcosm in a larger macrocosm. You need to be nice to yourself. Teach your kids to be as good as they can be to their fellow citizens, this planet, and everyone around them. Then, you will be a success.
Mama to B and E, Wife to E
Parenting with Hugs and Terror since 2011
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