Join Date: May 2011
As I'm sitting here watching Violet, now 15 months old throw her food on the floor in what I can only assume is an attempt to make in insane, I went back to read her birth story. Mainly to remind myself that she wasn't always a holy terror.
So, here it is for the world to see!
The first few days of February graced us with the biggest ice storm in decades, an appropriate time for a child of mine to be born. A dramatic entrance. 42 weeks was as far as I had agreed to go, and I was done. Monday night was when the ice was supposed to start hitting, and because we didn't have a vehicle that could fit both Mikey and I in it with the baby- my mom had decided to stay the night. My induction wasn't scheduled until Wednesday the 3rd, but just in case I went into labor we wanted her to be there.
I should also mention that the hospital that I had opted to deliver at was St. Francis Indianapolis. A good hour long drive on a GOOD day from our house.
At this point in my pregnancy, I couldn't walk, I could barely breathe and sleep was a joke. I figured that I should call the hospital and see if I could come in and be induced early, being that there's a giant storm coming in. But alas, they said no. I cried and went to bed.
I woke up the next morning at 5am. I did the next sensible thing and turned the tv up real loud so I would "accidentally" wake up everyone else in the house. If I couldn't sleep I didn't see why they should be! We turned on the news, as if the trees caked in ice and crackling weren't obvious enough- the storm had hit. I had my daily emotional breakdown about how I was never going to get to be induced now, and I would have to suffer for another week.
There was supposed to be a break in the weather between 11am and 2pm. So we decided that we were going to just get a hotel room at the Holiday Inn right down the road from St. Francis. After I had gotten off the phone with the hotel, I decided to try to beg one more time for the hospital to let me come in early. The tears worked, and they told me that Dr. Lupton was coming in early anyway because he was "bored at home". So off we embarked on a 2 hour drive on 37...the only car on the road.
As soon as we had pulled into the hospital parking lot, the ice started once again. Lucky timing I guess!
They told us that it would be a minute or so before my room would be ready, and that I should go get something to eat in the cafeteria. I was really confused because I was told that I wasn't supposed to eat after midnight the day before my *scheduled* induction. But alas I was starving so I ate until my heart was content. I can't really explain the mood- none of us really talked. I think we were all too nervous for speaking.
Up we went to Labor & Delivery. They took us to my fancy room that was MASSIVE, and tagged Mikey and I with some fancy wristbands. I met my nurse, Sarah, who I don't know what I would have done without. She let me make my retarded jokes, and threw some back at me. Humor is how I deal with fear. I was a scared little girl, I'll tell you that much. She plugged the IV into my vein and off I went with the Pitocin.
I had been at 1cm dilated since 30 weeks, when I had been given the Tributylyn to stop my labor, so they thought I was going to take forever to dilate. My pitocin was upped every 20 minutes, and that damn blood pressure cuff went off every 15. I hated that stupid thing. Scared me every time I tried to sleep. They had me on the fluids as well, which bloated me so fast and so much that I had to take my rings off, which I really for some reason didn't want to do. I was having contractions continually at that point, but I still couldn't feel them. Not really sure why, because they were intense on the monitor. Mikey kept a good eye on them for me and was nice enough to tell me when they were happening.
Somewhere between 6:30pm and 7pm (I only know the time because I was watching Jeopardy), Dr. Lupton came in and checked me. I was only at a 3 and he decided to break my water. First off, ew. It didn't hurt, but it felt like fruit cocktail coming out. Gross way to describe it, I think it was the gushes that made it feel like that. They offered me an epidural, but I was starting to chicken out because I thought that getting it would hurt so I said no. I was hoping they would push it more and give me more convincing but they just said "okay" and left.
My mom reminded me that it was going to start hurting a lot, which was all I needed to hear! For some reason I spent the next 15 minutes having a debate with the walls on whether or not I should get it now or wait. I was really concerned on what they would think about me getting it so early. Don't ask me why. So I briskly hit that call button and Mr. Epidural Man skipped on up to my room. They made Mikey and my mom leave, which was unsettling. I had this mental thing with being able to see Mikey. If I could see him, then I knew everything was okay.
At this point, I started crying. All aspects of me being 21 and mature left, and I became as scared as a 7 year old lost in Walmart. Luckily my nurse was a ball and kept me laughing. I decided that I needed to ramble off my entire medical history to the anesthesiologist for some reason. I knew they were laughing at me, but I didn't care. As I bent over and grabbed onto the front of Sarah, I apologized for "filling her up" and then we all laughed. It didn't hurt at all, and when he put the actual catheter in, the medicine felt like a tiny fishing weight dropped down my spine.
That was it. Nothing much really. I dried up my tears and thanked him for not paralyzing me. He once again laughed at me and left.
Now, I have never had narcotics in my life. So I didn't know that the epidural would make me feel so drunk. I loved it, I'm not going to lie. I couldn't stop laughing, and for some reason every time my foot fell off the bed I would bust out hysterically. At one point, I thought that calling Justina and updating her on the progress of everything but I couldn't put my thoughts into words. My mom and Mikey just sat there laughing.
A few hours later, I started to feel extremely sick. I don't really remember the hour or so after that. I do remember though, at around 11pm Dr. Lupton came back in and checked me and I was at a 5. At that point my Pitocin was up to 12 and he decided to leave it there because my body was taking over at that point. He told me to get some sleep because it still could be hours. I laughed at the idea of me sleeping. Mom was asleep in the chair, and Mikey was sitting next to me holding my hand while we watched Seinfeld.
Around 12:30am, Sarah came in to check on me and offer everyone blankets when I told her that I was feeling a lot of pressure and I felt like I needed to push. She told me that it was probably wasn't time since I was just at 5 an hour and a half ago. I thought differently, but I said okay and then waited until she left to convince everyone else that I was about to poop out a baby. Five minutes later I hit the call button and she came in and checked me. Suprise! I was at 10cm! Sarah asked me "Are you ready to have a baby?!", which is about when I just started bawling. Every ounce of scaredy cat came out.
Mom and Mikey assumed their positions. Mom on left, Mikey on right. I didn't like anyone touching my legs because I hated the tingly feeling. At the touch of a button my quaint room turned go-go gadget into a birthing suite. A massive mirror and light dropped out of the ceiling and a door opened up to a baby room with the warmer and all kinds of gadgets. By now I knew exactly when I had to push because of the pressure. It was exhausting, and I kept asking her how much of the babies head she can see. It was never the answer I want. It had only been about 45 minutes when I wanted to give up and beg for a c-section. She told me I was doing great and that most first time moms push for 3-4 hours. That was all I needed to push until my brain exploded.
The normal methods weren't working. Grabbing my legs failed, and those stupid bars failed. She suggested that we play "tug of rope" as a way for me to push more effectively. She took one end of a bed sheet and i had the other wrapped around my arms. We pulled against each other for 10 seconds, 4 times each contraction. It actually worked! In doing that it was only a matter of minutes before it was time for the dr.
Also during the pushing, I don't know what happened, but my epidural stopped working. I felt the ripping, the tearing, the cutting and the stretching. I was yelling between each contraction. They kept asking me if I wanted to see using the mirror. WHY WOULD I WANT TO SEE MY VAGINA BEING DESTROYED?!?! They said it would inspire me. Either way I said no and yelled at them to stop asking me. I then followed up with an apology for yelling at the nurse. She laughed and said it's ok.
Finally it was time for her to get Dr. Lupton. I was convinced that she was lying (you should note I've been crying this entire time still), and accused her of it the entire time. Finally she said that he was walking down the hallway and I yelled "WHY ISN'T HE RUNNING?!" I hate pain. He was just waking up from a nap. He came in and I said something like "omg thank you for coming you're a good doctor."
I apparently in a delirium brought on from pain like to praise people. And apologize.
Nows about the time when my memory goes in and out. The pain was so intense that I kept my eyes slammed shut the rest of the time. I kept asking how long and then saying "WHY ARE YOU LYING TO ME?!?" then I would apologize. Mikey and my mom had to keep convincing me that he wasn't lying and her head was out. They asked me if I wanted to touch her head, I screamed "GET HER OUT!"
...More of that terribly gross fruit cocktail feeling and she was born!
8lbs 3ozs. 21.5". 2/2/11 at 2:11am
They immediately put her on my chest, but I was still in so much pain from the trauma to my lady bits that I was confused as to why she was on my chest. After a few seconds my mom said "talk to her", and I put my finger on her forehead (to make sure she was real) and said "hi baby." Mom took the picture, and it's still my favorite to this day.
They took her over to the thingy to weigh her and all that good stuff. Mikey went over there and my mom stayed with me. I was waiting for the placenta to be delivered, expecting pain from that...but as I looked in the corner I saw it in the bucket and figured I was done.
WRONG> I finally asked Dr. Lupton what he was still doing down there, and he said "just fixing a few things." The adrenaline wore off and I felt every stupid needle prick of the stitches. I was yelling and begging him to stop and numb me. I think he got irritated, but he eventually got something to numb me. After that was over, and I finally stopped crying- it was time for my baby to come back to me!
We did skin to skin for what seemed like forever. I still couldn't believe that I had a baby. Eventually they came and took her to the nursery for a bath and whatnot while they wheeled me upstairs to post partum.
It was all a whirlwind. The most painful experience and at the same time the most beautiful. Every time I look at the pictures, or try to talk about it I start choking up. She is the most amazing thing in my life, and I cherish every moment that God lets me have with her.