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Old 05-16-2012, 01:37 PM   #136
Sellsie
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 10
Re: Anybody ever feel guilty about not BF?

Yes, I know exactly how you feel. I've had low milk supply with all 3 of my LOs. My first baby hated nursing and had trouble latching on, so that made things a LOT worse. After a month of pumping, taking herbs and trying to increase my supply, I "gave up." Now, I will say this...things were a lot less stressful once I made the choice to stop trying. When BFing doesn't come naturally and you have to WORK at it, I think it really increases your PP blues/depression. It did for me. Of course, I am a perfectionist and hated that I couldn't do something that was supposed to be the "natural" thing to do. Anyway, I tried with my 2nd and after 1 week, her weight had dropped too low (just like my first baby) and I made the choice to stop right away because I had a 14-mo-old to take care of in addition to my newborn. After 2 months, I felt so guilty, I decided to go back to my Lact. Consultant and try all the stuff to increase/re-establish my supply. Nothing worked, but I admit, I did feel better about at least trying. (And baby did really well using the SNS. Surprisingly after 2 months of bottle-feeding, she switched to nursing right away like a pro!) When my 3rd LO came (this past January), he was my best nurser yet. Still had the low milk supply, so I started herbs and using SNS pretty much right away (before we even left the hospital). I was able to obtain a script for Domperidone and in conjunction with the herbs and LOTS of nursing (no pumping though), I established a full supply...for about 2 weeks. His week started plateauing and then decreasing a bit, so I had to "up" his formula we were supplementing. Just last week is when I finally stopped. (My goal was to bf 6 weeks. We made it to 3 mo!) He just didn't want to fool with nursing anymore because the bottle was so much easier. I know I could have worked at getting him to start nursing again, but with a 3-yr-old and an almost-2-yr-old...whew, I feel like I met my goal. Would I have liked to EBF? Oh you bet. Am I glad I tried again? Yep. Do I still feel guilty? A lot less than I used to. The guilt eventually does go away. Remember, there is SO much more to being a mom than BFing. If that weren't true, adopted babies (with moms that chose not to induce lactation) would be helplessly lost. I choose not to believe that junk that says we damage our children's lives if we don't BF. I'm a Christian, so I believe God is the ultimate provider for our children's needs...whether milk comes from Mama or not. We live in a fallen world where things don't always happen as they should...let's choose joy in the midst of our struggles with guilt. Don't beat yourself up. You love your child. Try your best to forget about what you can't do, and focus on what you can do. Blessings!
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