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Old 05-23-2012, 12:59 PM   #10
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Re: Looking 4 Advice on Raising Young Kids from Abusive & Severely Neglectful Backgro

It sounds like you are doing everything right!

I don't consider counseling at school, counseling. Get him a private therapist. Are the kids on your insurance or state? I'd get them on both if you don't pay per person and then call both insurances for a list of providers and find someone who can do twice a week. Better to do more at first to help with the adjustment than less. You know these kids and their needs better than anyone and if you think they need more help, the younger you do it the better. Plus, you need therapists who will work with all of you as a family as a part of their therapy is working with you on parenting strategies (it sounds like you are doing a great job but for all of us, having people to bounce ideas off of helps).

If the reward jar does not help, stop it. For some kids, its necessary but I am so anti-reward beyond positive phrase.

Look at the county rec department programs - some have very low cost programs and if the kids are in kinship care you may be able to get a low cost waiver. Some local community centers have them too. Some day cares have grants and other ways to help, so you may want to look around so you can get a break.

Oh, and ignore the school - therapy for them to be successful in school is important. They are so wrong there. You are right!

The other thing you could do for the boy is look at a therapeutic overnight camp. He's old enough if he's willing and they have camps that specialize in this stuff (I don't know of any specifically).

Sorry your husband isn't much of a help. Its a huge family change and give him time. You are doing the right thing no matter what by taking these kids. They are family and family first. You are setting a great example for your kids too of what family is and means. Even if every day is a struggle and battle.
Mom to my wonderfully sweet toddler who is the joy of our lives. :
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