Thread: I'm furious.
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Old 05-23-2012, 08:39 PM   #16
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Re: I'm furious.

I would also be livid! If someone has a problem with my child they need to come to me or another adult (teacher, principal, etc) to handle it, NOT my child.

There is only one exception and I recently posted this is another thread, but its relevant here too. My 6 yr old son was at baseball practice and another child took Nick's hat off his head and put it on top of his own hat. When Nick reached over to take it back, the kid started punching Nick. Nick just kept blocking the swings and reaching for his hat. The coach was distracted by other kids and the parents were too busy chatting to pay attention to how their kids were behaving. I ran over and said "give him his hat back right now and don't you ever touch him again" in a stern and loud voice. I never did figure out which parent went with that child, though another parent checked with me to make sure her son was not involved.

Sometimes you have to get involved to protect your kid. In my case, it was happening in plain sight and right in front of my eyes and several witnesses. If one of my kids were the attacker I would be fine with another parent telling him to stop. In your situation, there was no immediate threat to either of the girls that justified that woman getting on the bus to bully your child.

I would begin the discussion like "I am well aware that there is another side to this story and that the truth may be more than I have heard, so I would like to hear why Mrs. Jones felt justified in approaching my daughter on the bus before approaching the bus driver, their teacher, myself or even come here to meet with you (principal.)" Then I would take issue with adults being allowed on the bus to confront children.

Obviously any of our kids could do something we do not believe is in their character, but if someone told me Nicholas was physical with their child, I would have a really hard time believing it and want some sort of verification that it actually occurred. However, if Jack or Brooke were accused of shoving, I would be more open to believing it. They are 3 & 4 and we are working on maturity in this area.

Originally Posted by MyBelgianAzzy View Post
I'd get the bus driver's take as well, and also would demand to know WHY a mother was allowed on the bus in the first place to address my child!! I'd be going after the bus driver for NOT calling the school and reporting the incident after I got done with the out-of-line mom.

Also, I'm sure you've thought of this, but I would NOT share your concern that your daughter may benefit from counseling with the other mom. No need to load her up with ammo to claim her child was faultless and your daughter was at fault, unless that is genuinely the case (and even so, her actions were out of line!). You already know the mom doesn't think/behave rationally.
Totally agree with talking to the bus driver. My kids are walkers, but aren't there cameras on most, if not all, buses. It shouldn't be hard to verify your daughters version of events.

Originally Posted by Aimers1 View Post
It's a good idea to try to nip this in the bud before it gets out of control. A rational discussion in a neutral place like the principal's office is a good idea. I agree with a PP about not mentioning counseling to the other mother. If you think J needs it, then by all means, but it's none of her business. I hears a story at work about a boy who got bullied on the bus incessantly. Nothing was done to reprimand the kids. Eventually, they got so out of control that they smeared peanut butter on him on the bus, knowing that his sister was severely allergic to peanuts. He fought back against these kids and got suspended for hitting one of them. The bullies got no punishment. Last I heard, the mom was suing the school district. These kids were 9 or 10, but it's easy to see how these situations get out of control. The kids get away with things and then escalate. And of course the parents of the bullies think that their kids can do no wrong. I know that J is not a bully, and I hope that you can get this resolved before it gets worse.
Wife to An Airman Mama to Nicholas Benjamin (9) Jack Ryan (7) Brooke Isabella (6) our Great Dane, Matilda and St. Bernard, Lucy
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