05-29-2012, 12:07 PM
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Nashville, TN
Re: How did you decide who would get your kids if something happened to you?
Wow, mama! This is a tough one!
Well, we are Christians, so if it was up to us, we would pray about it a LOT.
I think it mostly comes down to figuring out who would be the most willing to put your kids' well-being above their own. If something happened to you and DH, your kids wouldn't just need someone to "take care" of them. They would need someone who would make their needs top priority, and offer them LOTS of stability and support after losing their parents - not instantly uprooting them to a strange place, possibly holding them through long, tearful nights, and being an example to others of how your want your kids to be treated in that situation.
Who would do that for you? Honestly, it sounds like your sis & her DH would be the most supportive and loving caregivers in that situation. Yes, they are young, and you aren't close right now, but have you talked to them about the possibility? They may surprise you with their willingness and maturity (or not). Also, keep in mind that you can build that relationship. Invite them for a visit sometime and see what happens. Might be a nice thing to do anyway!
In the meantime, it may not be a bad thing to make your parents the legal guardians temporarily, with the caveat that if they find that they are unable to care for the kids, they hire help.
I absolutely would NOT allow anyone to care for my kids if there is a possibility that they would see them as a "burden". Nope, sorry. There are plenty of other people in this world who would love them whether there are blood ties or not.
Joyfully expecting surprise #3 in January, 2017!