Well, yes, you change perspectives as your children age. It's only natural.
The only people who know 100% how they will parent are people who have never parented. As soon as you have kids, the game changes and your perspective changes, etc.
I actually feel bad sometimes giving advice on situations I haven't been through yet because it's almost meaningless advice unless it comes from someone who has children older than you. But.. Sometimes I think people are brainstorming, so advice from anyone can be useful taken with a grain of salt.
Do I think the overprotectiveness does more harm than good? Yes, I do. I don't like where our communities are headed at all.
I live on a military base. We have old empty base houses and then all the new housing. The old housing was set up for reasonable privacy, but all around huge parks and very community type oriented. All the new stuff is set up completely different with tiny empty parks out back doors and huge streets so your neighbors seem as far away as possible.
That's just an example. But I listened to something on NPR years ago about how our music media shows the changes in our culture over time. The difference of when boom boxes were devices that people would congregate around, share musical tastes, talk, dance, etc. and now everyone is privately listening to their iPod. I'm not saying I want loud music everywhere, it just shows how society is closing in on itself. Our sense of community is lessening. Our interactions with others are lessening and we're increasingly suspect of others around us. We are more depressed and all alone in a sea of people who generally feel the same way.
Forums like this thrive on people's need to be social without inconvenience. Social without fear. We close in on ourselves, we see neighbors as scary, etc. friendly people on buses or at grocery store are weird and creepy.
And I think it's all going to implode someday. I think it would be better to teach our children to trust themselves and others (with respect and wariness when needed) instead of teaching them that we fear their actions, we fear their friends' parents, etc.
We create things in our mind that don't exist and teach our children to do the same.
I hope that all made sense as I meant it.
SAHM to Magnolia May (09/10) and Luke Russett (04/13) and wife and best friend to my airman.