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Old 06-04-2012, 06:44 AM   #24
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Re: Help:upset and need advice

Originally Posted by hugstrees View Post
I caution you on taking the test and putting him the birth certificate. He can make it difficult for you to leave the country with her, even if there is no geographical restriction on the custody paper work. I realize it varies state to state but when it comes to exiting the country with a child it's generally all the same.

I'm sure you can do the test from your home country. I would go through birth and delivery, then leave home immediately. When you arrive in Australia then call him to discuss the testing. Once you're there he can't do anything about it.

You really need to decide if you'd be okay being "stuck" in the U.S. with no support system because that's what could happen in the event that you DO the testing prior to leaving.

Personally, I'd lay low and leave as soon as I could comfortably walk! My family would probably fly in and drag my butt back if I didn't. His behavior is completely unacceptable and wrong. He could have handled it much better and threatening you with assault charges? That's pathetic!

I absolutely agree with all of this!

I'm so sorry that he has waited until now to do this, regardless of his reasoning. If he had these concerns he should have shared them with you in a respectful, mature manner, not have been confiding in his family all this time.

Please remember that pregnancy and birth is not the only time that you and baby will need to be surrounded by love and support, being a new mommy is a blissful, yet potentially stressful and difficult time. You both need and deserve to have all the love, support and extra hands possible over the next couple of years, and even if he is the father, if he and his family are not willing to do that for you, you need to be home where you are loved.
Roberta~ crazy crunchy, sometimes soggy, wife to my love and mama to 4 little pieces of my heart and waiting on #5! If you can't find me, I'm probably hiding in the corner licking the beaters
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