Re: DD has a "secret mommy"
Yeah, it might have slipped...like it does with my dd's teacher at school calling her Mommy but the fact that they didn't correct it, that's wrong, especially since you and your ex had an agreement to that effect.
Now, this will be a VERY delicate situation. Because if you go to your ex and make it an issue, inevitably, your DD will hear about it; either the actual conversation with him or your ex and his gf talking about it afterwards or you and your roommate talking about it. This will make her feel like she shouldn't have said anything and may actually solidify her not telling you things. I speak from experience because this happened to me when I was her age with my parents. It lead to me keeping my life at dad's seperate and secret from my mom because she'd hear about something we did or said and I knew it made her mad so I just stopped telling her things that happened while I was there and she seemed happier that way.
It may be ALOT harder to take the high road and ignore it but that's what I would suggest. Maybe just smile about the little 21 year old gf playing house and how she's envious and wants what you have but she'll NEVER BE YOU! YOU are that little girls Mama. And I guarantee that your DD will stop calling ANY other person Mom or Dad by the time she's 7 and realizes, "hey, this chick is SO NOT my mom. And I sure as heck ain't calling her that!" Again, from experience.
Good luck Mama! It really isn't confusing to her. She knows. If they are asking/forcing her to call this chick mom then I would just talk to your DD about how if she wants to it's ok but if she doesn't she is in her full right to not call her that and that you will step in if she wants and talk to them about how she doesn't like calling her that.
Devoted wife to Matt, the love of my life and best friend. SAHM to DD Taryn 6/06
the princess, DS1 Kyler 8/09
the ham, and DS2 Cullen 8/11
Have LOTS of wool goodies
to destash since we are all pL'd here