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Old 06-20-2012, 05:10 PM   #37
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fishmom
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: SoCal
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Re: Anyone else leave their childbearing up to God?

We had our first three in three years. When I found out I was pregnant with #3, I cried. After he was born I had pelvic floor dysfunction and had to get physical therapy to resolve it. I told everyone that my body was closed for business! DH went in to consult for a V, but never followed through. I went on the pill, but had issues from that so DH used protection from then on. (May God forgive me for any babies lost during that time.)

Our marriage and spiritual life were shaky at best. We were involved in a legalistic, spiritually abusive church which culminated in a life/marriage crisis 6 years ago. We went through 2 years of counseling and God slowly worked on our hearts and placed us in a great church. One day during service there was a mom with the cutest baby sitting in front of us and we both couldn't stop staring. We turned to each other and we just knew that we were ready to open our hearts and arms again.

That summer we spent a week w/my SIL & BIL who had 9 (now 10) kids. It was a wonderful, confirming time for our newfound conviction. Their family was such a blessing to be around. It turns out I was newly pregnant on that trip, but ended up miscarrying a month later. We were all heartbroken, but our desire for more babies was cemented further and our faith in His perfect will was strengthened. I became pregnant again 2 months later and our whole family has been blessed with the joy of our little guy. I am now due with #5 in August and we are all so excited.

It has been a journey and I can only hope that our lives will stand as a testimony to His grace and goodness. I think some people keep waiting for us to stumble to say "I told you so." Surely your teens will rebel, they say. Surely you will become too overwhelmed with all those kids. Surely you are getting too old and will end up with a special needs child; that'll teach you. I'm ashamed to admit that I used to think that way about my SIL. There will always be naysayers and the enemy hates families like ours, but we know Who prevails!

Having a large family doesn't guarantee anything good or bad. I must always remember that it is Christ alone and none besides. This is my struggle as I deal with the distractions of this world and the work I've been given called motherhood. Pray that I always seek Him first and I will do the same for you sweet mamas!

Sorry for the novel, but I really wanted to share our testimony ever since I saw this thread begin.
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Daughter of the King of kings, helpmeet to my DH and a homebirthing, homeschooling mama of many blessings: (8/00), (4/02), (10/03) -big break- (7/10), (08/12)
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