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Old 07-02-2012, 03:03 PM   #14
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EmilytheStrange
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Re: Can spanking cause mental illness

Quote:
Originally Posted by happysmileylady View Post
Well, I don't think that "slapping, hitting, pushing, and shoving" are really the same thing as spanking AT ALL. To me, that's like saying letting a kid scream in a room for 5 hours by himself is the same thing as "5 in/5 out" CIO (for lack of a better term.) Or that making a kid stand in the closet for an hour is the same thing as a Supernanny style time out. I don't really think that slapping and pushing and so on even really qualifies as a punishment. It's not like someone is going to say to a kid "if you do set the table in the next 2 minutes I am going to shove you around." With a true punishment of any sort, it's a direct consequence for a particular behavior. If you do XYZ unacceptable behavior, then ABC punishment will happen. You give a warning, child repeats unacceptable behavior, consequence that child was warned about is carried out. That's how punishment actually works. Slapping, pushing etc, just don't fit that criteria.
I keep quoting you... we would maybe be really good friends.
or annoy eachother.

lol

anyways.. I agree with this.

spanking is not the same as physical abuse. I have read books (123 Magic) that say that a parent spanks in anger as a parental temper tantrum and that's just ridiculous. My parents didn't spank me as a temper tantrum on their part, it was part of a consequence that often came later after a very long and drawn out conversation about why my behavior was wrong.

I think 'spanking' is completely misunderstood. The same way that CIO seems to mean, to some people, that the person let their baby cry for 3 hours without comfort when in reality they might have let them cry 3-5minutes.

Also, I don't agree with Timeouts as a punishment. People use them completely wrong because the idea has been warped from it's original intent. http://theattachedfamily.com/membersonly/?p=2455
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