Re: Your thoughts please..... and support
Not acceptable. I would process it really well with your DH, write down your concerns, and set up a meeting with the woman. Don't go alone, take someone along who will completely support you. It's hard sometimes to stick to your guns, even when you know you are right, when you are dealing with a person like you described in your first post. Hopefully, that will be enough to set her straight with regard to how your son is to be taken care of. Like PP said, the biblical model for confrontation should be followed. If you can't resolve it, find a new church.
FWIW, not one of my 5 children would stay in the nursery alone until at least age 2. It was inconvenient, for sure, but I would rather skip the service than leave my baby to cry in an unfamiliar environment with an unfamiliar person, no matter how caring that person is. I will say that pretty much everyone whom I've ever encountered in the nursery in all of the churches we've attended has been understanding of our children's needs. If I wasn't welcome in the nursery, I would either not attend church, or I would stay in the service with a noisy child. Babies are only babies for a brief period of life, so why in the world would we want to force them to grow up so fast?