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Old 07-08-2012, 10:43 PM   #33
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Re: Your thoughts please..... and support

Originally Posted by sunnymommy View Post
I agree with a pp that said you need to speak with her about it. This may not be so, but it sounded from your post like you were too shocked and needing time to process everything to have said something to her at the time? If you did not than the biblical model would be when you have something against your brother to go to him first and not someone else about it - even the pastor. That comes in a later step if you do not get anywhere. I know it's harder, but I think the higher path than emailing the pastor and having no further interaction. I think it's possible that she has no idea that anything she did was upsetting. If she did she wouldn't have been describing it in detail to you and encouraging you to use her methods. Perhaps she is still under the impression that she has been immensely helpful. To go right over her head to complain about her to the pastor without even speaking with her about it does not seem nice/right.

eta: But, I am in total agreement with you about the situation being totally inappropriate and your feelings are very valid. Is she a parent? It sounds like her understanding of age appropriateness is way off. Poor little guy, sorry for his first experience in the nursery being so sad. And I have also had moments where I gave in and did not follow my "Mommy instinct" and severely regretted it. You are a good momma.
I can see your point here, but I think we are looking at that scripture (Matthew 18, right?) from different perspectives. I have always understood the "sin" in verse 15 as referring to a person who is actively sinning (like "living in sin"), either knowingly or without realizing it. I believe the desire for privacy arose from the possibility of having to ask the person in question to leave the church if they did not change their ways. In this case, we aren't talking about continual deliberate sin, and we aren't necessarily talking about a personal affront, either. I believe the greater issue here is the concern for the type of care that OP's little one has been receiving while under the care of the church, and the attitude projected from the nursery workers in general toward OP, regarding her parenting. Given that it involves several people already, it should be addressed by someone in authority.
In any case, I think the woman made it very clear from the beginning that she has little to no regard for KingsDaughter76/Kellina's parenting style, and no desire to have a constructive dialog. Thus, I believe it is appropriate to involve someone else at this point.
Regardless of OP's expectations of the outcome, I think she really needs to speak to someone in authority, because most of the Children's Pastors/Directors I have known would rather be made aware of the situation, especially of this person is inadvertently turning people off to the church or Children's Ministry.

Disclaimer: I'm not a pastor, and I haven't studied that bit of scripture in a while, so I am totally open to being wrong. I just think this is a different sort of situation.
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