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Old 07-09-2012, 06:36 AM   #35
dancermommy1's Avatar
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Re: Your thoughts please..... and support

I agree with many of the others. Please do speak with the pastor or children's minister. It sounds like your lo is a higher needs baby, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. And, his anxiety is not unusual for his age at all, IMO. I would have been livid in your situation, as well, and the church administrators need to be aware of the problem. I disagree with some of the others who suggest you speak directly to the nursery worker, and here is why... this is a highly emotional topic for you, and she obviously thinks she did the "right" thing. Thus, I don't see a path to agreement for the two of you without some type of intervention by a third party. I think if you two talked about it together without mediation, it would end in an ugly argument because of the honest emotions involved. I say that because if it were my child, no matter how well I processed my thoughts in advance, I would be likely to jump all over someone at the slightest provocation if I were having this sort of conversation.

I hope the situation is handled in a way that meets your needs, mama, and that you can move forward with peace, either in this church or another one. And, don't feel horrible about yourself as a mom. It was one day. Your lo will forget about it and move on, and you should, also.

FWIW, my lo did not like to stay in the nursery either, until he was older. We just didn't go to church much, as a result. The nursery workers (most of whom I know and love) kept telling me that I needed to get him used to it. I just ignored them, smiled and nodded, and sat with him in the foyer or the nursing room during the service if I needed to, rather than occupy the nursery (where you can't hear the sermon in our church, anyway). Somewhere around 15 -18 months we started tapering off by leaving him in the nursery after playing with him in there for 30 minutes or so. He did cry when we would first leave him, but he would stop very quickly. Our church has a policy to come get parents if a child cries for very long (like maybe 10 minutes?--sort of like the YMCA policy). Now, much to our great relief, at 2 years old we are able to drop him off and he goes right to playing, no tears, and he knows his friends in the nursery.

Oh--another thing that helped us alot--the nursery workers give a snack the minute parents drop off the kids--that keeps them occupied and distracted while the parents "sneak out"
Bellydancing, Jesus-loving, cloth-diapering ecologist and Mommy to Michael Christopher, born July 8, 2010!!

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Last edited by dancermommy1; 07-09-2012 at 06:46 AM.
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