Hi ladies. I wanted to recommend a couple of books that I think might help with some of the issues that we've been discussing on this thread.
First, for those mamas who want to be open to life but have reluctant spouses (and for those who have fears about being given too much / too many), I would recommend Covenanted Happiness by Cormac Burke. He talks about how parents used to see children as "wealth" (and many African cultures still do so) but we have come to view them as "burdens" or "mouths to feed." Burke invites us to return to the older way of looking at our children. The entire book is available online, here: http://www.cormacburke.or.ke/node/995
One caveat, it is written from a Roman Catholic perspective, but I think there are many things in it that all Christians seeking to let God "plan" their families can agree with.
The second book is for mamas who have high-need children. Art and Larraine Bennet have written three books on temperament, The Temperament God Gave You, The Temperament God Gave Your Spouse, The Temperament God Gave Your Kids. All three are very good. I think an understanding of your own, your spouse's, and your children's temperaments can help when dealing with a particularly difficult child. That needy, overly active, or intense child might just be acting that way because of their God-given temperament. And when you can put your finger on why your child reacts in a certain way, you can help prevent negative reactions or channel them into more positive outcomes. My DD2 is a three-year-old choleric (i.e. bulldozer) and I have to keep reminding myself not get involved in secondary power struggles with her because I'm a rule-following melancholic.
Perhaps these books might help some of you as they've helped me. God bless.