View Single Post
Old 07-13-2012, 09:34 PM   #32
Umm_Ibraheem's Avatar
Umm_Ibraheem
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,183
My Mood:
Re: Atheist parents?

I had a pretty rough childhood and converted to Islam in 2006 when I was a 20 yr old college sophomore and immediately was dumped by all (and I mean ALL) my friends and even acquaintances. I don't think they dropped me because of religious belief since they weren't religious AT ALL (even though we were in a Jesuit university) a good number were atheist, agnostics and a few who were experimenting. I think they just didn't see how I fit in to their lives now that I refused to go clubbing or drinking with them. Honestly though, they didn't know me very well to begin with since I would have to be dragged to a club and was always the designated driver/person when alcohol came out. While it hurt it was eye opening and I just restarted and continued on with my life over the years those closest to me have come around and while I'm all for giving people second chances I don't think I can allow myself to let them in to my inner circle again. Maybe I'll feel differently as I get older, mature and laugh at my behavior over the years. I have love for them so I keep in touch and help out when possible but to let them back in will take time and effort on their part.

Prior to this the issues I dealt with were FAR bigger, life threatening and way more serious than bullying so I don't remember dealing with child bullies or school bullies. And if I had I probably discounted them as I was trying to survive.

I do get dirty looks once in a blue moon (I cover completely except for the eyes) and for the most part no one really takes a second look at me and I think its because of living in the tri-state area and 10 mins from NYC. My children are too young to be bullied due to religion or lack of one.

When I arrived int his country my area was a melting pot of races and I was introduced to a lot of different people, lifestyles and beliefs that it never occurred to me to make fun of someone because they were different than me. When I became Muslim it didn't change how I treated people either and I'm still involved with a variety of people so my children are exposed to that and are accepting of it. My family still criticizes me and I've become the black sheep but they stood by me and are somewhat accepting now. They avoid religious talks with my children as they don't see it as appropriate and I share the same belief I don't think its appropriate for me to approach anyone's child and talk about religion. I leave that to the parents.

For my kids though I want to work on their self-esteem and confidence to stand by what they believe even if its not popular and like a PP mentioned I would be disappointed if they chose a different path than mine but I wouldn't abandon or disown them. I'm constantly asked how I can be friends with people from x, y or z belief and I don't see a problem. I don't need to agree with someone 100% of the time on 100% of their beliefs or actions or how they chose to live their lives. My only exception would be rapists, child abusers and pedophiles that I just can't wrap my mind around and as a survivor I refuse to even go there.

btw I haven't had a debate/fight or whatever about religion with anyone but I have been dragged into crazy parenting fights. To me parenting styles and methods (I'm an attached baby wearer, homebirther etc) have been far more controversial in my circles than differences of lifestyle or religion. I still keep my distance and whenever these hot button issues arise I steer clear and if they become belligerent then I immediately put a stop to it and tell them to back off.
__________________
WAHM to DS 10|08, DD 09|10, Rainbow DD 01|13.
Wife to a bearded one. Childhood Leukemia Suvivor. Got amazon!
*please don't quote me so I can delete if needed thanks*
Umm_Ibraheem is offline   Reply With Quote