Thread: Baby is here.
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Old 07-15-2012, 08:19 PM   #34
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Location: Omaha, NE
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Re: Baby is here.

Originally Posted by newmommy13 View Post
How does someone make a cps report and the person reported doesnt get notified? I know she must be having a hard time, adoption is never easy. Im sure its different because she has a choice now and when she had your dd the kids were all taken right? So no choice.

Congrats! Im so excited for you that shes nursing! eating is my #1 worry and a great sign for her future!
Well, think like anyone can call and make an anonymous report of a concern. Your neighbor could call on you because your kids are outside during the school day instead of inside doing "school". So CPS decides it does not merit investigtaion and closes the case. You would never know that anyone called on you. At least that's how I imagine it works much of the time. I don't think they have to tell you.

She did have the choice to reunify or not, but she declined visits from the get go. But, I do think that has a lot to do with it because she had a lot more things to worry about with the other two in state custody.

She just eats super good. I am astounded that it doesn't hurt; I see milk coming out the corners of her mouth; hear her swallowing, etc. After the nightmare of my son last year (tongue tie kept him from being able to withdraw milk so his improper suck was useless and the most painful thing ever and he went back into the NICU at 5 days severely dehydrated/jaundiced) I just CAN NOT believe how easy this is. Even though my oldest was just as easy after she got off her feeding tube and learned to nurse in the NICU the first week. She doesn't wake up though. I am waking her to feed every time today. They said at the hospital she was waking to feed on her own. My son is so very upset that the baby gets "mommy milk". He insists on nursing at the SAME time. I feel like a cow. Also because of my experience with ds I am so anxious to make sure she is getting enough - I am taking her back to the ped tomorrow morning and then I set up VNA home visits to weigh and see lactation if necessary.

Today bm texted to ask if I could bring baby to her house for a couple hours because that would help them since they (her and her ten year old) are having such a hard time with this. I replied that I think she would have to ask the sw. I don't know if she meant leave her there without me or stay. Anyway, that makes me a little nervous. The best I can remember she didn't see dd2 from leaving the hospital until a Christmas visit at about four months. Sw says if she wants her back I bring her to the agency and then they call CPS to say she is coming to get her and the police meet her there. I am certain at that point she would "unchange" her mind. But, I hope we don't have to go through that.

Maybe this is bad, but I think if she went back now I wouldn't be devastated. I would be really sad at the circumstances she was going back to, but I wouldn't feel like I was losing one of my kids if that makes sense. And, maybe I'm wrong and I would be devastated. But, I don't really feel like she's mine; I feel sort of like I'm babysitting. I am probably comparing to how I felt about my son when he was born and it's not the same. For my kids to lose their sister though would be devastating to them. They of course don't have the same grasp of the legal situation and I have absolutely no idea the best way to explain/not explain for them. With dd2 she was foster and we had had a couple other (very short term) so dd1 knew we had foster siblings that needed a safe place to stay until they went home. We didn't tell her until relinquishments which dd2 was over a year old that we might keep her. So not being foster this was totally different.

The Dr that released her this morning has been the same one that's seen her every day but one and he was shocked to hear that CPS closed the case without taking the other kids. Can't remember if I already put this in a pp, but they said they had evidence that the illegal substance use harmed the baby (obviously physically because she was pregnant) but they have no evidence of a negative impact on the other kids at home. So basically the state just said that one can use meth without a negative impact on your kids. Dh is furious. I am trying to reign him in at least until she signs relinquishment.

On a side note: My husband needed my van with all the kids at home so I took his car to the hospital. I expected to be back home and then us all go get her when released, but since they said I could nurse there I just stayed all day and night and today until release. So we came home the car which has 2 Scenera's in it. They say they go down to five pounds and I've heard on the car seat forum that they are a good cheaper seat. She was 6lb 5oz today and the buckles definitely did not get tight enough on her. They were pretty good, but that doesn't cut it. I didn't know what else to do so I just drove home, but she won't be going back in that seat for awhile. I have a MyRide in my van and am hoping there won't be a problem in that with the infant padding otherwise I will have a problem with no way to transport her. Well, I guess I would try switching seats around with the other kids and see if a radian fit. I don't have a bucket.

Findingmercy - just wondering, how did they let you nurse in the hospital? Were bio dads taken care of beforehand so BM could sign right away?

Oh, and sorry Dalynn that I am so tired I can't even translate typos.

I let them feed her my milk in a bottle between 11 and 5 last night figuring it was the last block of sleep I would get in awhile. I thought I felt good this morning when I got up. Then I pumped without attaching the bottles I could NOT figure out why I was getting wet! So, yeah, tired...

But, i am just so happy to be home with everybody who needs me all in one place. And actually all are sleeping right now!

Last edited by sunnymommy; 07-15-2012 at 08:21 PM.
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