Re: "I'm just not going there"
I would suggest they look into a diaper service if they don't want to do washing but still feel bad about throwing away all that plastic.
I don't know what to say in those situations either. One time at baby yoga, all the moms were talking about diapers and comparing the brands and one said "huggies leak because they're just like cloth." I didn't want to say that I didn't have any of these leaks or blowouts they were talking about because I used cloth, because they all know I used cloth diapers on DD and I didn't want to seem preachy or condescending, you know? Because sometimes people take it that way even if you don't mean it at all like that!