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Old 07-24-2012, 10:05 AM   #22
Liadan23
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Join Date: Nov 2009
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Re: How often do your babies nurse?

i couldn't read this and not post. do not beat yourself up over this! you are doing so great! my ds nursed the same way for the first 2-3 months of his life. it was seriously a constant growth spurt. i about lost my mind and i didn't have a toddler to care for! you aren't doing anything wrong, some babies are just like that. he started getting better around 8-10 weeks, and by 3 months, his feedings were much quicker and more spaced out and it was no big deal anymore. this too shall pass.

my ds will now be 3 in september and i have a 7 week old, so i'm pretty much in the same place as you right now too. this baby isn't quite as crazy with the constant nursing as ds was. but she does nurse very frequently and during growth spurts it's like a flash back to ds :P it is sooo hard with having a newborn and another child at the age ours are. ds has been sooooo naughty since the baby was born. he seriously has me pulling my hair out on a daily basis. and it seems like, as soon as i FINALLY get the baby to fall asleep he's all " i want to see her! i want to kiss her!" and then he jumps on her and wakes her up and i find myself yelling "don't kiss your sister!!". queue massive meltdown complete with hitting me and the baby and throwing things around the room. and then i hate myself for the rest of the day for reprimanding him for loving his sister. and wonder where i screwed up parenting so bad that he would act like that. but seriously. i'm going to lose it if he wakes her again. so, you are soooo not alone. your dh is being a jerk. my dh is actually sympathetic and (fairly) helpful and i'm still having a hard time. this will get better though. it really will. all of this will pass.

my ds has watch waaaay too much movies/tv the last 7 weeks, and i really feel like i'm neglecting him, and he feels it too (hence the bad behavior i think). i just keep trying to tell myself that it's normal (reading this thread has actually helped me with some of my guilt in the respect too). some of the things that seem to help though are:

- when the baby is about to eat, i get a snack out for ds and set him up with it near me. so we all eat together. this occupies him for awhile

- keep the computer near me. we play music and he dances while we sing together. i also pull up youtube videos of cartoons or movies or songs that we don't have on dvd. he thinks this is awesome since it's "different" than watching it on tv. i don't get it, but there it is. we also paint on this website: www.jacksonpollock.org. he doesn't really get computer games yet, but this one is really simple. he likes to click the mouse button while i move it around.

- i try to get him to bring me books to read or to color, but he's not really able to sit still long for quiet activities like, ever. so it's hit or miss. but sometimes i get lucky

- he brings cars or trains or animal over to the couch and i'll play with him with one hand while i nurse the baby with the other.

- we go outside and i sit in a lawn chair and nurse the baby. then i blow bubbles while ds chases them, or throw a ball for him to go get, or just watch him while he rides his bike on the driveway, or plays in the yard. this gets some energy out.

- i really don't go out much with the 2 of them. it's just too hard still. but i would like to soon. i'm working on nursing in the sling, but there's a bit of a learning curve. i never figured it out with ds. i feel like i'm almost there though. once i perfect it, i think it will make things sooo much easier. the park or the mall playplace are places i'm thinking we could go. but i haven't tried it yet, and i don't blame you for having trouble with it. right now, it needs to be a place i could sit and not have to move or run after ds that much and where he would be reliably entertained for awhile. eventually, the baby will eat less and we will be able to do more. i have no issues bf'ing in public. but WHERE do i want to go that i could sit for an hour while the baby eats and that ds would not go insane and make it impossible? once she's eating in more like 15-20 minutes, outings will be much more doable. until then, try to think of things to entertain you all at home. try to get outside at least, it really helps. and let the house go. screw dh. do the bare minimum. your priorities in terms of non-baby care should be: food (microwave, takeout, whatever, as long as it fills the tummy right now), clean clothes (not necessarily folded and put away though!), and you know, nothing unsanitary. don't worry about the rest.

also, if your dh thinks that other woman, the wife of his coworker, is so awesome then YES! tell him that you really want to learn from her and ask for her information. #1 she will probably tell you the same things we are so you can go back and tell dh to shove it. #2 maybe you'd make a friend? that would make things 100% easier if you had someone to do play dates or something with and commiserate with you on the difficulties of motherhood. good luck! this really will get better! at least....that's what i keep telling myself too
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