How do YOU deal with defiance? My 5.5 y/o...
is driving me freaking nuts. She's always been very headstrong like me and says how she feels (again like me) and acts out her anger.
I have been trying very hard to reel her in. Today was the last straw. I told her no, you can do such and such but I'm not giving you a clean cup when you have one already. She started screaming and threw herself on the couch, started thrashing about, etc. I told her to listen to the two options again. She kept on. I tried to keep a level voice. She kept on. I told her she was going to get spanked if she didn't stop it right now. I can't remember the last time I've spanked her (and it's A swat, not multiple) maybe two-three months? So I spanked her. I told her to go lay on the bed and think about her attitude. Once she calmed down, I went in there and talked to her, and told her to think and when she was ready to come out and apologize for being rude and screaming at me, then she could. She won't come out.
This is happening multiple times a day after I get her from daycare after work. I don't like being around her. I went to FL for a few days and came back and had really missed both kids. Monday and Tues went great. Today, not so much.
How do I deal with this behavior? I can't have my 5 y/o treating me with defiance and disrespect. I was respectful to my parents. I do not want her growing up like my teen sister who I live with (along with my mom) who is a self entitled spoiled brat.
Please tell me there is way to fix this, that does not involve spanking. I hate doing it. Thinking time/time out doesn't work either.