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Old 07-25-2012, 06:30 PM   #6
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Re: How do YOU deal with defiance? My 5.5 y/o...

Originally Posted by jac1976 View Post
In my house, my children would have gone up to their room the minute they started to scream and protest. I let them know that it is okay to be upset about not getting what they want, but that the behavior (screaming, yelling) is not okay and must be done in private. I also let them know that when they are in control of themselves, they may come down and rejoin us. I then withdraw myself from the situation and don't give them any of my attention. Sometimes they are up there for a minute, other times it has been almost an hour. I don't push them to come down before they are ready. I do this every single time the behavior shows itself, so they are familiar with it, they also hear that I understand how they are feeling, but know that I won't give in.
I don't have personal experience YET.

but, from everything I've read, been told, etc, this is spot on advice.

No matter what you choose for your consequence, it needs to be immediate. Right at the beginning. No bargaining with choices and options to change their attitude - simply obey or there's an immediate consequence.

I am trying to instill this in my daughter now when she tries to throw tantrums. I generally tell her to quit before she even has the first fake scream out all the way. And she knows I mean it. She's little, so sometimes she tries again, etc. but I tell her 'no ma'am' from the first attempt to start a fit. Mom doesn't tolerate even a little bit of it.

otherwise, this sounds like no fun, momma and I hope that you find something that works quickly so you can enjoy your relationship with your daughter again.
SAHM to Magnolia May (09/10), Luke Russett (04/13) and expecting 11/16. Wife and best friend to my airman.
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