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Old 07-28-2012, 07:38 AM   #142
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Re: Anybody ever feel guilty about not BF?

Originally Posted by NebraskaGirl82 View Post
I nursed DD1 for 2 weeks. My nipples were cracked and bleeding, I had searing pain everytime she latched. I was literally hallucinating because I had no sleep, she wasn't sleeping either. No one I knew had or was BF, I had literally zero support. My mom kept telling me to give her formula so I did, I needed SOME relief.

I also had a c section and really don't think that had anything to do with enough milk on my end, although the pain is something else to deal with for sure.

Well, I educated myself after the fact and she probably had a bad latch. I went on to nurse DD2 and DD3 for a full year each, with no formula. If you have another and feel compelled, then you can BF. If your supply is low (wondering how you knew it was low in this case?), you can get help.

If not...well enjoy having others help with feedings! One upside to formula is someone else can help with night feedings, DH was great with DD1 but I was on my own with the other 2. Also I think he bonded better with DD1 right away, took time with the other two because they were literally attached to me for quite some time.

ETA: I think I feel most guilty because DD1 has asthma and I wonder if BF could have prevented it. Although with family history on both sides, likely not.
I could have written this, other than I made it 3 weeks and had thrush on top, and my DD2 is only 3 months but going strong EBF. Right down to the asthma, but I had it as a child too, so I don't really think that BFing would have saved her. The only thing I miss about FF is that DH could help more with DD1 than he can with DD2 now.

I really would encourage moms who might have not had a good BFing relationship with one child to try again with a second or subsequent child. I know so many people IRL now who've had miserable experiences BFing one child only to have success with other children. Just because it didn't work out once doesn't mean it won't the second time. Personally having done it both ways I prefer BF, but that doesn't mean that I think I was wrong to FF DD1 - it was the right decision in that place in time, and I did the important thing - I made the decision that was right for us. Breast is only best if it's what's working for everyone's health and sanity.
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