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Old 08-03-2012, 03:33 PM   #151
Earthmama97
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Re: Anyone else leave their childbearing up to God?

So do any of you lovely ladies have a vacant spot of land right next door I can move too LOL?? What an encouragement to read all of your posts. My husband and I are currently studying on the issue of leaving it up to God. This is something that has been weighing heavy on my heart the past few years. I am 36 and have four and have also had 3 losses over the years. I LONG for another child so badly. My children beg for us to have more as well. I believe they are an absolute blessing and I enjoy and love each one of them beyond words. I feel I was placed here to be a mama and there is no greater job I could do than to raise children to know the Lord. I'm just so confused by it all. There is this part of me that believes God will only give me what I can handle and he will provide for us. But the other part of me is still terrified! We are barely making ends meet right now, my husband is working a job that keeps him away from his family and despite much prayer and searching nothing at all is coming up for a new job. I know NO one in my real life who leaves this up to God. The main thought I seem to be finding with people in our church is that God has given us control over nature and that includes having or preventing children. They also point out that we are told to provide for our families etc... and by not preventing we might place ourselves into a position we can't do this. I'm honestly just so confused. I'm just not sure which it is. I don't want to take that giant step and then fall in a pit. Does that make any sense? Did any of you ever feel this way and still step out in faith? I'm just so afraid and confused. I wish so badly my husband and I could feel peace on this issue. Sorry for my ramble, I just was curious if I was alone or if this is a common way to feel when you start to head in this direction? Thanks
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