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Old 08-06-2012, 05:25 PM   #1
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Some toddler birthday etiquette questions

Oy, so DS just turned 2 and the b-day celebrations of his "friends" is going around as well. Some may have read about the joint b-day issue with our family and DS's second cousin whose family assumed they could use our DS's b-day to celebrate as well...anyway, that went well and things turned out ok. One of DS's "outside the family friends" did attend, and one suddenly had to work when she found out there was a second b-day kid. I don't know if she really did have to work or just felt awkward at a big family thing, or felt obligated to buy two gifts.... Anyway, things went pretty well TBH!

So since it was mostly a family thing, I didn't worry much about additional kids except the one who we have been close to (their family) for years. The b-day boy who couldn't make it "invited" DS to his b-day in September. The little boy who DID make it is also in September, not sure what date yet. I HAVE to make it to that one so I'm afraid to RSVP to the other one. What do I do? Wait to RSVP until we get an invite to the close family friend, or ask the family friend what date they plan to have it (if they know) so we can plan ahead?

A second question - DH and I went to a birthing class before DS was born. Fast forward about a year later and DS and I are doing gymboree and run into a lady who was in that birthing class. We became "facebook friends" but don't talk or anything. I occasionally hit the like button on her pics, I don't think she really does on mine (no big deal, but we aren't close is what I'm getting at). A bunch of people formed a playgroup outside gymboree and DS and I have been to a few get togethers, maybe 3 or 4 tops. They kind of stopped having them over the summer. This particular lady and her DD were invited but never attended. I have no idea why - work maybe, other obligations, no desire - who knows. But anyway,she invited DS to her DD's b-day which is also in September.

There are a few issues here - one, I really do not know her at all although she seems very nice. Two, we can not afford gifts for all these b-days in one month and three I don't want to RSVP to her DD's party only to find one of the two we'd like to go to is on the same weekend. WWYD? I feel bad because she msg'd me on FB the other day asking if for our address so DD could invite DS to her b-day and I gave it to her not really thinking about it. I don't know the date yet so maybe that could be my out? Or am I now obligated to go??

And FINAL question (if you are still reading! LOL). Our "kid" birthday gift budget is usually about $20 or so. The kiddo's parents who we are family friends with bought DS a gift that is about $50 retail and $40 online. It's a nice toy, but $$. My own parents didn't even spend that much on DS. What do you do in these situations? Do you then buy a gift for the child on their b-day of the same value and stretch the budget a little? It's only once a year I guess? I just don't want to get into a....."last year DS got their DS a $50 toy, and they gave us a $50 toy, so we now have to continue that price range..." As it is, I usually do the $20 toy when it's on sale or something so sale or clearance it would still be high. I also hate to just give a gift because it's a "good deal" I got. I'd rather pick out a nice gift that I know the LO would love.

I have a feeling this birthday thing just gets worse as they get older doesn't it?

Last edited by Mom2Connor; 08-06-2012 at 05:27 PM.
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