Re: Me and my daughter dont get along!
I am going through this (albeit, late) with my 13 year old son. I am convinced that it is them expressing their autonomy and testing boundaries. Part of my son's issue is also trying to get an exaggerated response for minor incidents (which I am quite guilty of giving.)
Be firm, and emotionless. Try your hardest to NOT show that she is getting under your skin. Respond firmly and as hard as it is, do not explode but stand your ground. Recognize the fact that it is a power struggle you're in.
If she is having issues finding her voice with her friends, she is likely testing the waters with you, the person she knows loves her unconditionally and she feels secure with.
It is definitely difficult to go through this time. My kids tend to alternate. On my daughter's difficult days, my son is an angel and vice versa. I think I would have already been found in the fetal position had they decided to double team me. LOL