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Old 08-07-2012, 02:04 PM   #10
CarrieMF's Avatar
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Location: Alberta/Saskatchewan
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Re: Me and my daughter dont get along!

personally don't think it should matter why she wouldn't open the scooter.
it matters because the reason why she didn't want to open it could be opening the door to the types of situations where they get into these mother/daughter battles. Saying no becuase she's in the middle of a getting dinner ready is different than saying no because the dd has been asking for things all day.

Like this for example, she said she would rather ride her bike, but since her friend wanted her to ride her scooter she was relenting.
But she only said she'd rather ride her bike after you'd questioned her. Learning to stick up for yourself is a big part of her next year. If she is turning 9 I am going to guess she's in Grade 3/4. there is something about this age that I have seen happen over and over and over in the schools(and with my own kids who are thankfully getting out of this age). They have a group of friends that you wonder why they're friends when they don't seem to ever get along with each other. There is quite a bit of testing what friendship means to them. Her friends may change over the next year or 2. There will be times she is the one who is leading and times she is following. If she is never leading she may just be a follower or she may start to gravitate to other kids who allow her to lead too.

There is a huge hormone change starting around now which is why you are seeing a change in her attitude. It doesn't mean she is going to start growing breasts or getting her period but there are subtle "behind the scenes" hormone/puberty changes going on and it does lead into the rest of teenagehood.

However she is starting to try to be more mature(even though it seems completely the opposite) and independent. Giving her more freedom can help her attitude towards you. Teach her how to open her scooter herself. Give her some time to herself, with the clothes from camp it would have been okay to let her get in the house & re-setted with the family before asking her to do that chore. She was probably anxious to see the others but instead was met with chores. She probably didn't get alot of sleep at camp, was active and if she was picked up at 6 probably hungry.
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