View Single Post
Old 08-07-2012, 02:13 PM   #12
Bear Family
Registered Users
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Sacramento California
Posts: 679
Re: Me and my daughter dont get along!

Originally Posted by CarrieMF View Post
it matters because the reason why she didn't want to open it could be opening the door to the types of situations where they get into these mother/daughter battles. Saying no becuase she's in the middle of a getting dinner ready is different than saying no because the dd has been asking for things all day.

But she only said she'd rather ride her bike after you'd questioned her. Learning to stick up for yourself is a big part of her next year. If she is turning 9 I am going to guess she's in Grade 3/4. there is something about this age that I have seen happen over and over and over in the schools(and with my own kids who are thankfully getting out of this age). They have a group of friends that you wonder why they're friends when they don't seem to ever get along with each other. There is quite a bit of testing what friendship means to them. Her friends may change over the next year or 2. There will be times she is the one who is leading and times she is following. If she is never leading she may just be a follower or she may start to gravitate to other kids who allow her to lead too.

There is a huge hormone change starting around now which is why you are seeing a change in her attitude. It doesn't mean she is going to start growing breasts or getting her period but there are subtle "behind the scenes" hormone/puberty changes going on and it does lead into the rest of teenagehood.

However she is starting to try to be more mature(even though it seems completely the opposite) and independent. Giving her more freedom can help her attitude towards you. Teach her how to open her scooter herself. Give her some time to herself, with the clothes from camp it would have been okay to let her get in the house & re-setted with the family before asking her to do that chore. She was probably anxious to see the others but instead was met with chores. She probably didn't get alot of sleep at camp, was active and if she was picked up at 6 probably hungry.

Thank you for your response...I have color coded mine in respnse to yours.

I see what you are saying...but that is not really how it happened. I was folding laundry when she asked...that is not the reason I said no. I asked why in the first place, like I said, because I thought her bike was broke again. When she answered the way she got to me, she admitted to me that she would rather not ride it, and would prefer to ride her bike, since she said that, and we have been trying to show her lately that she can still make her own decisions and don't have to do what her friends do I told her to do what she wanted and ride her bike.

This is exactly the case. They argue all the time...Jera will be down there playing and then come home and say Lux doesnt want to be her friend anymore. The girls are sisters and have an older brother (who Jera doesnt get along w/ at all) and of course when the brother picks on her, they argue and then the sisters take his side. I have tried to explain it to her but since her brother is so young still she just doesn't get it yet.

She was 2 hours late getting to the bus since it broke down, which is why I asked it be done when we got home since we were already 2 hours behind schedule and also because Jax and dad were running errends and she would have time to do it then and then be able to visit when they got home. I also explained this to her in the car, I gave her a reason, which I typically think I don't need to, as her mother, I should just say it needs to be done and she shouldn't question me about it. Also, she wasn't hungry, he stopped and had dinner.
Bear Family is offline   Reply With Quote