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Old 08-08-2012, 09:16 PM   #37
Bear Family
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Sacramento California
Posts: 679
Re: Me and my daughter dont get along!

Quote:
Originally Posted by chello View Post
have you sat her down and talked to her about it? I mean without lecturing etc? I totally agree that you need to put your foot down and deal with attitude like that, but at the same time if she just sees this as you suddenly becoming a control freak she's obviously not going to respond well. Explain why attitude like that is rude and unacceptable, and what your motivations are when you correct, question and discipline her. And then make that attitude truly unacceptable. When I was growing up it didn't matter how valid or legitimate what I wanted was, if I was being snotty I got nothing until my attitude changed. I remember my sister's room being stripped down to necessities, even pictures and stuff she had on the walls being taken away, she was left with her bed, a pillow, and something like 3 changes of clothes for awhile because she was not being respectful of the house and our parents. But at the same time, my parents always told us why being rude will not help us in life, why it's important to be respectful of the people and authority around you, and that we were not the most important person in the world, how we need to consider the people around us. It was never just "because I said so" without context, kwim?
Yes, so many times. I have tried talking to her about it, I have even been a few time so frusterated in the past that I have cried in front of her about her behavior (not on purpose, just emotions fly ya know). It hurts so much the way we interact.

And this isn't a sudden thing...it has been gradual. Her attitude has become worse in the past year, and I am sure it is age related, but that also means, that I have started to put my foot down a lot more, about things I wouldn't necessairly have in the past, just because I am trying to stand my ground and show her I am not putting up with it anymore. We have made headway, but I just feel like it is slow going.

Growing up for me was the same you described, there was no way an attitude like this would fly.

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