[musicalisa]

OP, I also have a 9 year-old daughter and I teach 9 year-olds LOL... I am surrounded by the kind of behavior you describe! I know what you're talking about. One of the things that has worked a little with my daughter is discussing expectations *before* something happens, and also setting boundaries (i.e. if she wants to whine and mope and cry that's fine - but she has to go do it in her room with the door closed).

I can't even imagine what puberty is going to be like...