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Old 08-10-2012, 08:14 AM   #5
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 37
Re: When does the pain go away?

I'm no help on the engorgement, but I wanted to encourage you on the bonding thing. My daughter is five months old and I've never felt that magical bonding experience. I felt like there was something wrong with me because I didn't. I still struggle with that some, but I've come to the conclusion that not everyone bonds through breastfeeding. Some parents bond through holding their child or playing with their child or rocking their child. Dads manage to bond without breastfeeding. Moms can too. And just because you don't feel that magical bonding experience doesn't mean you're doing it wrong. Think of it this way: breastfeeding is feeding your child. Feeding your child is obviously important, but it doesn't have to be a magical bonding experience. No one goes on and on about the magical bonding they feel when they make a pb & j and carrot sticks for their toddler's lunch. If you do end up feeling that bond through breastfeeding, great! If not, do not worry about it. You can still breastfeed and you're not doing it wrong. Breastfeeding has been tough for me, and it's something I've done for the sake of my daughter despite how much I dislike it. You're not the only one who feels like it's a chore. I'm guessing there are lots of women out there who don't feel the magical bond when they breastfeed and don't really enjoy it, but do it anyway for their baby. It's just that those moms who love breastfeeding and have an awesome bond through it are the most vocal.

Hang in there - you're doing just fine!

ETA - In some ways, I think breastfeeding advocates who go on and on about what a wonderful bonding experience breastfeeding is do a disservice to women who don't feel that bond through breastfeeding. They get discouraged and feel like they're doing it wrong (I know I often feel this way), so they give up. It's really unfortunate.

Last edited by EmilyDan; 08-10-2012 at 08:17 AM.
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