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Old 08-23-2012, 11:29 AM   #31
Lilybug1
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 75
Re: Anyone get sick of the judgement?

Quote:
Originally Posted by misskira View Post
I get it the other way around right now. I'm staying home and feel like I constantly have to justify it. Why can't it be good enough that it's the right decision for my family at this time?! Especially when the people raising their eyebrows aren't the ones paying our bills. WE are. Why do they care if we give up vacations or a new car or fancy clothes to make it work? Just because I have a degree, why am I less entitled to choice?

When I was working, I felt it too though. No matter what we get judged.
I absolutely agree with this. You should have the choice, degree or not. If you can financially make it work for you to stay home, whether it be foregoing luxury things or not, I think it's great for you. I don't think you should have to make excuses or otherwise justify your decision. It's just when I hear the voluntary and false rationalizations that irks me. It bothers me when my SIL who has never made any real attempt at finding a job after her children were born and I think only for a short time worked like part-time says, we couldn't afford for me to work when they are so strapped right now and the kids are part-time in daycare. It just doesn't ring true in their case. We probably couldn't afford a nanny/daycare if I only worked a few hours a day.

Honestly, I work more for personal reasons in keeping peace in family than for financial reasons. My husband does not want a stay at home wife and I find that me being home for more than 6 months puts a lot of stress on our marriage. That's the God's honest truth. I figure it's better to have an intact marriage and non-feuding parents than a SAHM in our case.

Personally, I would just prefer it if my SIL said that she stays home with her kids because that's what she wants to do and sometimes it's tough financially, but they make it work for the family. Just the honest truth.
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