Re: No prenatal care
I personally would not be comfortable avoiding ALL prenatal care. I suggest you find a good local midwife, explain that you just want basic care... explain why you want what you want, and just go from there.
I think that might be a good compromise.
And for what it's worth... I can empathize with your reasoning. They told me that DS2 had an elevated risk of having down syndrom, cancelled my US (schedule for the next week) and made me go 2 hours away to a specialist for a level 2 ultrasound. I was a nervous wreck for those two weeks. Then when they DID the ultrasound they said everything LOOKED normal, but they couldn't guarantee it, and suggested and Amnio, which I declined. I told them if he looked normal, then there was no reason to assume the miscarriage risks associated with an Amnio.
So.. I totally GET where you are coming from... but I still PERSONALLY think you should at least allow yourself to receive minimal prenatal care.