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Old 08-28-2012, 03:20 PM   #9
happymamamia
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Re: Developmental Delays in someone else's child? Need advice.

Thanks everyone for the support. I do realize the mother does not have a ton of experience around other kids, my son is probably the only other tot she ever sees....it's strange because she will mention things that he does and muse aloud whether or not it's normal, but when I bring it up as an issue, it seems as though she shrugs it off.

To answer the question above about the pediatrician, I am not sure why he doesn't have one. I assumed he would have to considering he was legally a foster child up until a few months ago when the adoption went through. His parents do seem to be sort of the "buck up" types- they were both raised strictly I think and they sort of have a "aw, he will be fine" mentality about a lot of things, if that makes sense. Also, mom seems kind of flighty at times- she brought him over with ringworm without telling me, and then proceeds to tell me that she was dewormed with the farm animals as a kid so she didn't think she could get it (ringworm is a fungus for those of you not in the know ), she forgets to pay me regularly, she forgets his car seat on days when I have it/ need it, etc. Sometimes I think maybe she just doesn't notice what I do.

Dad did pick him up today, and we talked a bit. He shares my concern about the food-holding/ not-swallowing, but they just approach things differently. Apparently they spoke last night and they think the drooling and swallowing are discipline issues, like perhaps they need to "get on to him more to wipe his face, and that will make him stop drooling." /facepalm He claims he doesn't notice the shaking, which is fairly interesting considering my husband, who is around E for about 3 minutes every day, brought it to my attention! If you are not around someone the bulk of their day, and you don't know what is developmentally appropriate, it probably is a bit surprising when someone outside your family brings things like that to your attention. I do feel good about talking to the dad today, I think at least the swallowing problem will get addressed and hopefully the physician checks out the other stuff.


Quote:
Originally Posted by pcjs View Post
I would stay out of it. You expressed your concerns now the only choice you have to make is to or not to continue care.

He would probably benefit from intervention but he needs to see specialists and not have those on the internet guessing diagnosis. There is probably a lot more in the family history than you know or even they know and that is where to start. There are many of us who will NOT use early intervention through the state - I would not for personal reasons and they aren't the be all and end all. Given their situation, it would not be what I would recommend vs. finding really good specialists to look at the full issues. Early intervention don't have the full training a specialist does. BUT, not your child. You mentioned it and leave it at that.
Thanks for the reply. I think you should know you come off a bit rude here. I don't recall asking anyone on the forum to guess his diagnosis. My guess as to palsy or autism spectrum was labeled as such, a guess, and I do know he needs to see a specialist. That is basically my whole point. I see that you feel strongly about state care. Honestly, personally I feel the same way for my own family, for reasons perhaps the same or different from your own. I bring it up here as I know the family and I am aware of their financial situation, and it seemed like a good place for me to start as far as speaking with them about it. However, this is hardly the point. I was looking for moral support (from mothers who may have had a similar situation) and good suggestions, perhaps a bit of opinion to see where everyone else would go with the situation. Maybe you should start a thread about why you don't like state-sponsored speech therapy. It seems like you have a really big opinion about that, which is fine, but my thread isn't the place for it.
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