I, too, can relate to your feelings of failure.
My first was induced which then resulted in a csection. I never went into labor,.felt contractions, or dilated. At the time I was naive and completely lost at what was going on. I just agreed and let the doctor and nurses do whatever, basically. It was VERY traumatic.
My second was a failed vbac. I was SOOOO excited when I went into labor on my own! I was even excited about my very painful contractions! I am positive my vbac failed because I went to the hospital too early. If I would have waited longer at home I would have had my vbac. I was hysterical as they were wheeling me into the OR. I DID NOT want a csection.
I always get angry at myself when I think of my failed vbac. And I'm even more angry and jelous of people who have vaginal deliveries. It just makes me angry that because of my csections I feel like Im limited in how many kids I can have. Its not suppose to be that way!
It also makes me upset when people choose to have a csection when they are fully able to birth vaginally.
And here I am wishing with all my heart and wanting nothing more than to have a vaginal delivery.
(ok, rant over)
Bianca- married to a Ford truck loving cowboy (March 2011) and a SAHM to my 2yo Diva (8/3/10) and 1yo Prince (12/28/11)