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Old 08-31-2012, 04:39 PM   #1
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Maine
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Question Living together before marriage. Yay or nay?

My boyfriend and I are expecting. We are both divorced, and I have a a child from my previous marriage. Long story short: he wants us to move in with him to another place (my apartment and his are an hour drive and are too small to accommodate all of us). The problem is that I would like to have an idea if he would consider making a commitment in the future. His response was that "marriage would not change how he feels about me" (true, but it hurt. I felt rejected). He also mentioned that weddings "are expensive and just for show" (He had a lavish wedding, I on the other side got married at the courthouse and didn't even have a dinner or anything).

I have been reading about cohabiting and it seems it is a not a good idea. I feel a lot of pressure from family, friends and society to move in or marry him just because we are expecting. I would like to make that commitment for love. I do regret getting pregnant (it wasn't planned, and I was on the pill) because it has set this whole snowball in motion and i wanted to take things slowly.
Proud mom to my intact, mostly unvaccinated, baby boys Jayden (11/30/08) and Riley (03/28/2013). WOHM who still manages to lead a semi-crunchy, mostly organic, homeopathic, frugal life.
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