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Old 08-31-2012, 07:28 PM   #30
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Location: Northern Ca.
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Re: Living together before marriage. Yay or nay?

I find it so interesting that so many "statistic" quotes are referenced when it comes to this kind of topic. I personally don't put too much merrit in a "statistic" that can have too many variables not recognized. Religion, personal family history, age, having children, etc. can greatly effect wether a marriage is successful or not. The singular idea of cohabitating before marriage as opposed to not doesn't dictate an increased rate of success (or not), alone.
My "hubby" and I have been living together for almost 10 years now without marriage. Three dogs, two children and a mortgage later, we are still going strong. We are married in life! For me that is enough, (actually, I am the one who has "dragged my feet" about marriage). But if in your heart you know that won't be enough for you, be clear about your expectations and needs, but also be patient. It sounds like he is ready to commit to you, but is maybe shy of the "public" marriage after his previous experience with it. Sometimes I think we as women feel like we need to throw down the gauntlet with things and demand what we want (or else...), but life isn't always that black and white. You catch alot more flys with honey than with vinegar. As long as you are clear with him where your road leads, maybe give him some time to get on board. You don't have to compromise what it is that you want, but maybe the that a compromise that you can handle?
Good luck and I hope you DO get what you need.
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