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Old 09-04-2012, 02:07 PM   #43
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elizabeth.scalf
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Hershey PA
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Re: Living together before marriage. Yay or nay?

You can take your relationship with him as A)boyfriend and B) father of your child at different rates. If you weren't pregnant, would you move in? My DH and I got pregnant fairly quickly in our relationship and I moved in when I was a few months along, but it made sense for us both where we were in our relationship togeter (I would have even if I hadn't been pregnant). We too lived an hour apart and I spet more time at his house than my own apartment, and after 6 months together we were ready. He proposed a short time later but we didn't get married for 2 more years, when pg with DD2. For us, we were able to co-parent and be mommy/daddy together to our children without feeling like we needed to be married. After being together for 2.5 years, we were ready for marriage.
Sounds like you need to have a serious talk with him. He may be open to commitment but just of a different sort. Maybe your timelines or journeys are different, even though the goal is the same. It's a hard place to be in. Don't put pressure, ask open-ended questions, and avoid absolutes.
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SAHM to Coralie, 1/09, Siri 9/10, Ellie Sue 9/12, Baby #4 due May 2014.
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