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Old 09-05-2012, 11:35 AM   #9
Xythnia's Avatar
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Location: Phoenix, AZ USA
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Re: Trying to Make Peace with 1st C-section in 4 Days :(

Update now that I am officially "2 days late" per the professionals and not feeling as fearful and emotionally twisted as before...

1. I cancelled the schedule c/s - I told them the guesstimate I gave them originally and my own record of my last period do not match. They said they would keep the original dates. Um, ok. If they adjusted, my due date would be closer to the 13th! I want her to be as ready as possible for this world. I also want my body to know it gave birth!

2. Dumped the doctor. After discussing things with DH and trusting his bad feelings about our newly assigned doctor, he is out. Plus, it makes ME nervous that after DH's confrontation with the doctor, his presence in the OR might make the doc uncomfortable. I do NOT want someone cutting into me uncomfortable in any way!

3. Switching hospitals. Phoenix Baptist Hospital was decent with DD1s birth. Tried scare tactics on me to make me get induced, kept pushing formula on me big time and I HATED the painful fist to the stomach to force my uterus to contract "faster" - but otherwise, since I was vocal and took no crap, it went well. She did not leave my room the entire time.

However, for c/s they take them to the nursery for 24hrs, you can see them every 2-4 hours on request, no skin-to-skin immediately after, no immediate nursing, arm restraints are standard. NO. I refuse to *schedule* a negative birth experience for Violet and myself.

DH is so awesome, he saw me on the phone listening to the nurse with tears in my eyes. He grabs his tab, started searching and found recommendations on Babycenter for Scottsdale Hospital - Shea Medical Center. I called them. They do immediate skin-to-skin on c/s! They don't HAVE a nursery! The child stays in the room with you for any/all procedures! They "strongly support" breastfeeding! And amazingly, they are little distance but a straight shot for DH, who is not as familiar with most of that area.

Working on the flip every day til she is ready. We are going to tour the facility today so feeling hopeful. If anything, this has been a HUGE opportunity for DH and I to grow closer together, see how we deal with being in situations were control is not totally in our hands, and help us to be stronger, more vocal individuals.

We call DD1 our "glue" because we only stuck through our rough first year+ due, in large part, to her. We are calling this one our 'love child' because we panicked on finding out we were pregnant and fully engaged in giving her up for adoption. It was just fear that we couldn't do it/afford it/etc. After the decision, we didn't talk about the adoption plans OR the pregnancy at all for 5 months. Then, realized I could NOT give up my own child, and when I told him he cried - he had realized he didn't want to either but didn't want to impose his will on "my" body. Totally emotional constipation - I cried the whole weekend. We've been 125% into the journey every since.

Can't back down yet. I think a good path has been set in front of us...we will follow and see were it leads...
Esther - Wife to Super SAHD Jason
WOHM to Terrence William (18), Lily Rayne (4) &
Violet Skye (Breech C/S 9/17)
ISO: Size 1 Mini Nappis, Capris, Simplex, and Thirsties
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