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Old 09-06-2012, 01:02 PM   #170
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Re: Anyone else leave their childbearing up to God?

My grandmother had 11 children, and my mother was the 9th. I love my extended family very much, but all my aunts uncles and cousins have chosen to keep their families smaller. I will, too, because of how having such a large family affected my mother growing up and my grandmother's health.

Having so many children really wore out my grandmother's body, and they couldn't afford to eat healthy food, either, which didn't help. I miss my grandparents (grandpa died of smoking) and I wish they were still alive. Our extended family was a lot closer when my grandparents were around because we'd have monthly family nights at their house. Now I don't see everyone together much anymore. I wish that my grandparents had taken better care of their health so we could be together as a family again.

I wish my mom hadn't been a ninth child. She loves my sister and I dearly, and she's do anything for us, but because she was raised by her sisters, she doesn't really know how to be a mother. It's easier to accept now that I'm older, but it was really hard for me to deal with growing up. My mom didn't understand what a parent's role was as her child was growing up. I know it must have been really hard for her growing up, too. I know her mom was too tired to be involved enough in my mom's life.

What I wanted to say is that having a large family can be a lot of fun, but the downsides can be quite serious and can last for generations. A lot of my cousins have had serious struggles growing up, probably from similar issues as those I struggled with with my mom. I love all my aunts, uncles and cousins, but if I could shrink my family to still have my grandparents, and give my mom a normal childhood, I would in a heartbeat. There's a reason all of us have had small families since.
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