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Old 09-15-2012, 10:53 AM   #40
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Originally Posted by myoo
Threads like this always make me sick to my stomach when I think about my son and that someday when he's grown people will automatically look at him and think "potential child molestor" and not want their children to ever be alone with him. What a sick society we live in when men are automatically villainized just because they are male.

OP, this isn't a bash on you or anything. I just think it's sad that society in general has come to the point where people feel automatic distrust toward men.
I know. This is so true. I'm sorry mama its not fair. I dont believe that all men are evil, my rational mind knows that the vast majority are not a threat. I'm just scared.

Originally Posted by dani_p
This is always such a touchy subject isn't it?

I too am surprised that the OP is nervous about a man she's never even met and a school professional at that. The notion that men should NEVER EVER be alone with children is a bit silly. Yes, I realize that they are 100 times more likely to be a sexual predator than a woman is... but 100 times 0.0001 is still less than 1%. That means that more than 99% of men are well meaning, normal guys who are vilified because of their sex. If I ran around suggesting that black people probably were criminals and middle easterners were all suicide bombers, I would be a terrible person. I don't understand why this is any different... yet it is widely accepted as normal behavior to discriminate against men in regards to children. Virgin Airlines (in Australia) has a policy that unaccompanied minors are not allowed to sit next to male passengers. Men walking down the street have the police called and their daughters interrogated because they might have kidnapped them (both stories from This is discrimination and it is not okay.

That said, I have a daughter. I worry about her. I understand the fears, I really do. However, it is not my job to protect her from the world. It is my job to teach her to protect herself. Teaching her what is or is not appropriate and what to do about it is the best defense I can offer her. Raising a daughter who is leery of all men simply because they are men is not something I am okay with.

Sorry if I come across as harsh... I don't mean to insult anyone but this is something I feel passionately about (if you couldn't already tell!)
I agree, teaching that only men are abusers is dangerous and could do more harm than good, for example giving kids a false sense of security with women when it is possibility to be hurt by a woman too. I think the best approach is making our kids feel empowered and to teach them safe practices regardless of if they are with men or women. However, statistics are still the same about abuse as it relates to sex (gender) and I dont believe that MY child, at 4 years old, has the skills to protect herself yet. I can see how my opinion might differ from that of a free ranger though.
I, mama to dd A (3-08) dfs J (10/11) and in love with newbie dfd N! (10/13)
hopeful pre-adoptive foster family
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