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Old 09-18-2012, 10:40 AM   #44
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iwiamandaiwi
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Re: Letting addicts around your kids

I've seen this thread pop up over the last few days and thought I would share my 2 cents. My MIL is an alcoholic. I have never lived close to her and so I never saw it until our older DS was about 2yo. We were in the middle of a move and we flew in for a visit before heading to our new state. All the other times that we would visit dhs family his mom would be very enthusiastic about spending time with us all and we would go out and do stuff. This time she was very woah is me why can't you move closer so I can see my grandbabies. The whole time she was whining about not seeing them and I was thinking welll jeez lady while you are whining about this you are wasting time that you could be spending with them. Well one day we decided that we wanted to go to the local childrens museum and asked her to go with us but she said she did not want to go. I was kind of upset because of the attitude that she had been having but dh, ds and I went and had a good day. When we returned we found her sprawled on the couch in a shirt with no pants and completely wasted. I took my son to the bedroom while dh woke her up and tried to sober her up. That is the first time I had ever seen any evidence that she was an alcoholic. My husband and SIL have told me so many sad stories from their childhood but I always had had a hard time matching those stories up with the woman I had gotten to know. Apparently she can hide it pretty well when she wants to. That was the first day that I saw her drunk and I guess after that she didn't care if I saw her or not because she no longer covers it up or pretends. I feel so bad for my husband and his siblings that they had to basically have no mother because she chose to drank rather than parent them. I can now understand the stories that they tell me and it breaks my heart. I used to be of the mind that as long as they were clean while they where with my kids then it is not my business but after hearing all the horrible stuff this woman has done and seeing it firsthand for myself, I no longer care to have her in our lives. DH totally agrees. In fact, he is the one who told me to cut her out. Her other children do not talk to her either. I feel bad for her a little because she is still their mother but she did bring it on herself by choosing to drink.
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Breastfeeding , Cloth Diapering, Babywearing Mommy, to Dylan Michael (September 2007) Aiden Edward (March 2011) and anxiously waiting for Katherine Sophia due in MAY!
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