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Old 09-18-2012, 12:13 PM   #47
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Re: Letting addicts around your kids

Originally Posted by jen_batten View Post
I guess I'm in the minority here and it's probably easier for me to say because there is no addicts in my immediate family. The only addicts in my family are my Dad's side (not my Dad, but his Mom and further down the line...). I cut off contact with them a LONG time ago and booze and chain smoking were a part of that decision but I probably would have cut contact with them anyway, TBH. But I would not allow anyone who was using in my house, and I wouldn't go to theirs either. And I definitely wouldn't allow them around my kiddos.
We are nearly to this point.

Our guest got on a plane home yesterday, and afterwards hubby and I realized we neither enjoyed the visit, nor felt we had connected with him in any way. For all the time going out to dinner, shopping, sight-seeing, we weren't ever unguarded or able to speak our minds. Everything was planned around when he would need the next cigarette, when his hands would start to shake and he'd get antsy for a drink, when one of us would have to go rescue him from a bar. The sole reason I felt compelled to welcome him into our home was to foster a good relationship... but he can't possibly care about our relationship if he acts this way. The truth is if he had to choose between alcohol and me and my son, he would choose alcohol. He is not necessarily a dangerous person, but he is an incredibly selfish person and I no longer feel any connection to him.
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