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Old 09-18-2012, 01:57 PM   #7
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Maine
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Re: Talk to Me About ODD

Originally Posted by iris0110 View Post
My youngest is like this, he just has to keep going and keep arguing. He goes is waves though. He will also do things to get even or to punish people (he wets his pants when he is mad on occasion, or pees on the floor in the bathroom). He will argue with me even when I am not talking to him, like sitting on the couch just repeating "You can't make me do it, I'm not going to." Long after everyone else has stopped talking. My oldest has PDD NOS, SPD and Anxiety NOS but this is not the same. I however am Bipolar, SPD and a host of anxiety diagnosis. When I was a teen my psychiatrist did tack on ODD but it has been dropped. I have a problem with taking directions "attitude problems" and defiance. I've had that problem since I was a child. Part of it comes from a fear of "looking stupid" or failing at things. I will not follow directions if I don't understand perfectly what I am being asked to do and I tend to lash out violently at those times (this is particularly true in physical activities like PE when I was a child and TKD now, dh loves being my TKD instructor ). I have learned how to blend in and manage many of these behaviors. I see similar types of behaviors in my oldest but instead of lashing out he cries and hides. Tharen doesn't seem to have any fear of "looking stupid" he just argues for the sake of argument. He has to win all of the time however his need to argue comes in waves. It can change daily, weekly or even over the course of hours. Sometimes he is compliant (at least reasonably) and other times he can't say yes even to things he enjoys. He can't hold still and he has to do the exact opposite of anything he knows is expected of him. I can be holding his hand in the parking lot and say to him "don't run off, a car will hit you" and he will look into my eyes and smile while ripping his hand out of mine and darting across the parking lot. He has a desperate need to disobey me.

Tharen was receiving behavioral therapy from his pediatrician (he is a developmental specialist) but it finally got to a point where we realized we needed a full diagnosis. He was referred out to a developmental behavioral specialist for "Oppositional and defiant behavior". I did think we were looking at an ODD diagnosis but after all of the paper work I filled out and his second TKD instructor filled out (we homeschool so no teacher) and testing he received a diagnosis of Mood Disorder NOS and ADHD. His doctor said he could label him ODD but he doesn't like that diagnosis as it isn't really a diagnosis at all just a pattern of behavior that is typically caused by another diagnosis, in Tharen's case it is really the "Mood Disorder" causing his behaviors. When he gets older he will probably be diagnosed bipolar but they don't like to do that in children as young as he is. He will also most likely lose the ADHD diagnosis.

This has been my experience with ODD. My oldest would never be diagnosed with it as he is a very compliant child but when he is upset or thinks he can't do something he will throw a pretty good fit about it complete with crying. I have been diagnosed with ODD in the past and some of the things that make me so defiant are the same things that make my oldest melt down. I just react differently. I have other defiant qualities though. My youngest does beat us all in his ability to argue about everything all of the time and in his lack of impulse control. We have been working on some behavior modification techniques and he is on medication now for bipolar and it does seem to finally be working.
Thank you so much. I have OCD and general anxiety - NOS. I was diagnosed with Bipolar at one time, but it was taken back years later. I also am defiant like you are. It can really bite my butt at times. I wonder what Quinn has. Some days we think ADHD, other days we think nothing, we just do not know. He sounds a lot like your son.
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