I didn't realize this was a common thing between twins. There is no one else in my family with twins. I only know one set of twins that used to go to school with my 4 yo. They are 5 now so they are not like this. I didn't usually see their parents to ask about it. There are several twins on dh side, but they are all grown. Mine were the first set in our generation. They mostly live on Texas or have passed on. So again no one really to ask. If the twins in his family are still alive, the parents aren't. His grandmother is a twin, but one passed from Alzheimers, and his grandmother has it now.
So thanks ladies for chiming in. I had really no idea what to do.
With the toy issue, I personally don't remove it from both, I let the one who had it first keep it. I want the other to learn that he who had it first gets to take their turn with it. In March they will be going to the same school as my oldest. So I need them to understand they can not remove any toys from other children. This could be a potential problem at preschool/Daycare.
As far as Mommy time is concerned, I try to share my lap at the same time, and hold the one who is actually hurt. Preston usually just comes crying to me when Desmond hurt himself, because he sees his brother will be getting attention.
On another note, how many of you regularly get whacked in the head with toys? Lol