09-28-2012, 03:31 PM
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Second star to the right and straight on till morning!
Re: My sister's child needs a home.
Believe it or not lots of people feel this way when they get pregnant with baby #2. They ask, "How could I love another person as much as I love my first child?" The truth is your heart simply expands and grows. Your heart is not a small chamber that only holds x amount of love. Your heart has an infinite capacity if you allow it to grow.
I'm a little surprised that this never crossed your mind before, when you were making plans for your future. What if your sister had lived a perfect life and died in a car accident, and you were asked to take in her children, would you feel differently? I have several siblings and many nieces and nephews. There is an understanding that if someone died, their children would become ours. We have made plan B if this ever happens. Despite how they have lived their lives it isn't the child's fault if the parent dies. Where does your child go if you and your DH die? Can you think about it in those terms? To give to this child what you would want someone to give to your child if you died?
I don't blame you for feeling angry that she your sister messed her life up so badly that she is going to die. I would be angry if one of my sibs did that to, simply because deep down I loved them and want them to be a good, whole person and live a long life taking care of their kids.
It's not the kids fault her mom didn't take care of herself. Don't think of your niece as a burden, but as a chance to change her life for the better and as a daughter. If you can do that, you will be an amazing parent for her.
: Mama of 4 DS's
and 1 DD
. Married to J